Two (Gazillion) Bees or NOT Two (Gazillion) Bees

Two weeks or so ago, Josh, my son-in-law was walking to our house from his truck when a lady in the alley hollered at him and waved him over. "Do you live in that house?" she asked. "Yes," he said. "Well you have BEES swarming on the side of your house!" "OK, I'll take care of it" says Josh. I was gone to Douglas, AZ to visit my nephew in prison there and didn't get home until way after dark so when Babs told me about the bees (hmmm, that may be why we've been finding so many bees in the pool) I looked but didn't find any. The next morning (Sunday) I went out to look again and, sure enough, there they were buzzing around the corner of our storeroom where it meets the alley wall. I got a close look and couldn't tell if they were going down into the concrete block wall or into the storeroom. I saw my neighbor working in his yard so I went over to speak with him about bee removal. After our chat, I went to take another look to see if they were African or just plain honey bees. They wouldn't show me their papers but didn't have little afros or gold chains that I could see. While I was checking them out one of the little beasts stung me on the back of the hand. I could see the stinger and the piece of its little butt that it left behind (no pun intended...well maybe not). My natural reflexes took over so I started shaking my hand. The rest of the bees took offense at that and began buzzing around my head. I beat a hasty retreat into the house to avoid any more stings. I removed the stinger with tweezers and put some Melagel on it. It didn't swell up like a Mickey Mouse hand or anything so I must be pretty dang tough. At church that afternoon I got more advice on how to get rid of them than Hillary has ugly pictures on the internet. Everything from soapy water to bugbomb , to prayer. When I told Pete, my son, later on that day he said, "Oh, no problem. Tyler and I have used his dad's bee suits and killed tons of hives with soapy water." He then made several macho animal sounds and began to thump his chest, so I left. I really didn't want to kill the little fetchers if they were honey bees because I like to eat the veggies and fruits they inadvertently pollinate, so I called Tyler's dad, Jerry to see if he would come check them out. He did and they are NOT. Oh no, they are the Africanized ones. He said he could tell because they are darker than regular bees. I mentioned something about being racist but believed him. A few nights later I called to ask him if I could borrow his bee suit since lazy-butt Pete had made NO effort in that area. He (Jerry) said it probably wouldn't fit my rotundity but offered to don the garb and do the deed. I got the 5-gallon buckets ready and filled them with soapy water. Ten gallons poured into the wall/storeroom later, Jerry left comfortable in the thought of no more bees and no more problems. I returned to the wall and sprayed a can of ACE Wasp and Hornet Killer into their little bee home for good measure. My plan was to use some of that expando foamo sealo crap the next morning to bar any entrance/exit in the future. When I went there the next morning, what to my wondering eyes should appear? Not reindeer or Santa but a gazillion bees swarming like nothing had happened. Nonplussed, I bought some Hot Shot Flying Insect Spray (kills for 4 weeks!) at Safeway and waited for nightfall. Spray, spray, spray. Kill, kill, kill? No, no, NO! All it did was tick them off to the point that we had to turn off all the lights and pretend we weren't home. Next day off to Ace I go to buy a bottle-spray thingie that attaches to the hose. I figured I could put the soap in the bottle and spray the little buggers with enough soapy water to float a battle ship. The guy there said to use PineSol instead because it kills better. Some helpful hardware chick said if that didn't work I should use some stuff called SEVIN. She said her grandma had bee trouble and paid bee people $100 a pop THREE different times to get rid of the bees to no avail but when she was trying to buy something to get rid of grubs in her garden, they suggested SEVIN. They told her not to use it around bees though because it would make them croak. Hmm, no dummy she, she sprayed and hasn't had any bees for years. I bought a bottle of SEVIN and some more sprayo expando crap and, once again waited for nightfall. Before it did, I happened upon some AMDRO that I had left over from getting rid of the ants we had a couple of years ago. Great stuff! one application and no red ants in the back yard and no black ants in the front. The ants take the gunk and feed it to the queen, she says thanks, then croaks. Worth a try I thought so I dumped the remaining AMDRO into the hole and on the wall. Sure enough the next morning it was gone. There were still a few bees so I figured they were feeding queenie-pie and would soon be in the bee obituary column... Not so much. They were back in force by the next day. I was unable to use the SEVIN for the next two nights because I was gone to 's Camp for bear/boy patrol all night and was too blasted tired the next night. This is the SEVIN night! I have sprayed them twice and will go spray once more when I finish this. If it doesn't work I still have bugbomb and paint thinner to try. My only fear is that I'll croak before they do and find out God is a bee. A very, very large bee. A very, very ticked off large bee who is not pleased with me for offing so many of his kids.