So it's not as flowery as Cogito, ergo sum, I feel the need to rant. Before the ranting begins though I want to welcome young Isaac Jacob Howe into the world and our family. You have been born of goodly parents into a very large family that loves you and are glad you are here. Hopefully you were able to say "see ya" to miss Charlotte who will be joining us soon.
Let the ranting begin! Do keep in mind that I'm an old fart.
First off, pants. Now I'm all for them in general because I really don't have the legs for skirts and not even Robin Hood looked good in tights. My complaint is aimed at who-the-heck ever designed dress and "Docker" type pants. Why on this green earth do we need a button tab, a clip thingie, AND another bleeding button tab to secure the pants around our waists? That's not even counting the zipper and belt! I'm old. There are times when I could really use velcro. Then I have to remember the entire sequence in reverse when I'm done. I don't like it. Also, we have put men on the moon and peanut & jelly in the same jar, why in the name of all that is right with the universe can't they standardize the number of belt loops? Light bulbs fit in any old socket. The little pointy things on the end of electrical cords fit into the holes in the wall. Why not the number belt loops so all I need to do is count. It's hard enough just having to do stuff when you can't see what you are doing.
Expiration dates. I noticed the other day that my shampoo has expired. I fully understand it since I have been shaving my head for almost three years now, but an expiration date on shampoo? Really? What does that mean? My hair would still be dirty? No silky shinyness? All my hair would fall out (too late)? I know some things need expiration dates like dairy products and such. In fact I noticed the date of August 10, 2009 on the tub of fake butter I opened this morning. I still put it on my toast. It tasted fine.
Daylight Savings Time. It's a yankee concept that has absolutely no useful purpose in the modern world. China does quite well with only one time zone for crying out Pete's sake. Ben Franklin should have been shot the day before he thought of it.
Pinatas. Don't get me started. Kids, sticks. blindfolds, a moving target? They should just let them run with scissors and play in traffic.
Hair. This has nothing to do with the shampoo one. I am all for hair especially when it would grow spontaneously on my head. Is it fair at all that it should quit doing that just because I have "matured?" I don't think so. But, such are the adversities of life I can live with (without) that. But why, oh why do I need to have it growing out of my nose and EARS? What kind of evolutionary joke is THAT? Isn't it bad enough that us old farts lose our hearing, we should get hair blocking the sound? What? We've smelled enough too? Getting old is not for the faint of heart.
Negative political ads. I want to vomit. If it weren't for that "Freedom of Speech" thingie and I was king of the world, I would institute the Thumper's Mom's law: "If you can't say something nice about someone, don't say anything at all."
Ranto, ergo sum.
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Women can grow long hair, but not on their legs, whoever was the first women to shave her legs, shame her (although probably it was the "white man" that insisted).Cigarette smokers should be allowed to smoke in their own homes, with the windows closed, and with no vents. In the words of a 90 year old women in the Benson ward, "growing old ain't for sissies."
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